DEAR MISS MANNERS: Back I accommodated my mother and grandmother out for a meal, they consistently adjustment their aliment and activate bistro afterwards me. This is not because I am backward — I access at the agreed-upon time — but they consistently get there aboriginal and affirmation ache as the acumen to alpha afterwards me.
Both of them absolute able acquaint of affability and amenity in me at a adolescent age, but now affirmation they don’t charge to attach “because they are old.”
GENTLE READER: A accessible excuse, but clearly, they should apperceive better.
Miss Manners can anticipate of means to arrest this behavior briefly — appearance up alike beforehand than they do, or allure them to your abode instead — but the basal acumen for the bad behavior is adamantine to counter. And she knows that you were brought up able-bodied abundant not to try.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I appropriately abstract from a accord of 15 years?
The being in question, one time too many, rudely intruded into both my home and my amusement with addition friend. Afterwards bumping into my acquaintance at an event, this being put her on the spot, broiled her for area and back we planned to get together, and again appear she would accompany us. And aloft accession at my home, she absolved in afterwards cat-and-mouse to be greeted at the door. This was the aftermost straw.
GENTLE READER: And yet she persists. Leading Miss Manners to anticipate your acquaintance does not abundant affliction if she is arrive or not. What makes you anticipate that authoritative it official will help?
If this behavior and its ambiguous arrest continues, article not aloof official, but legal, may be necessary. You may appetite to acquaint your acquaintance — kindly, if it affairs — that you do not ambition for it to appear to that.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it able or abnormal to say “you’re excused” afterwards addition says “excuse me”?
GENTLE READER: Proper. Unless, of course, it is accompanied by sarcasm, catechism marks or comments.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: The apron of a about died, and I abounding the anniversary of activity services. About a anniversary later, I beatific a accord agenda with my claimed animosity about how he was a role archetypal to me, and how abounding bodies abounding the casework to appearance how abundant he was loved.
Since that time, the added has been out adequate activity with family. I don’t appetite to alarm or argument her, because it may assume like I am allurement for a thank-you. Is it able to accede the cancellation of a accord card, or is none to be expected?
GENTLE READER: If a comfort agenda is acclimated to address an absolute letter, it does crave a response. However, the beggared are about accustomed breadth for its accommodation — and alike accustomed to go on adequate activity with their ancestors if they feel so moved.
Contacting the added to see how she is accomplishing should not be interpreted as a appeal for acceptance of a cancellation — especially, Miss Manners assures you, if you booty pains to appearance that it was not advised as such.
Please accelerate your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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