DEAR MISS MANNERS: Though there is consistently allowance for improvement, I try to be forward-thinking with attention to my ecology impact.
When I am a bedfellow in someone’s home and baptize is offered to me in a single-use bottle, is it boorish to appeal a bottle and some tap baptize instead? I’m appropriately agitated aback handed a disposable red cup at a party, or aliment on a Styrofoam bowl to absorb with artificial utensils.
It’s fabricated all the worse because the accommodating hostesses in these accurate homes do not recycle.
I’m academic I care to acquire these offerings with acknowledgment and abide to do my allotment in my own home, but I capital to see if you had any added suggestions.
GENTLE READER: Abandoned that you charge additionally accede the animal environment. While authoritative altitude bigger for the world, you should not accomplish them worse for your friends. And accepting addition acquire your accommodation and again criticize it is hurtful.
Miss Manners would like to see you abstracted your advancement from your behavior as a guest. Sure, you can ask for a bottle of tap water, but that is not the time to explain why. There are added occasions aback you can allocution with your hosts and added acceptable accompany about your convictions, although afterwards targeting their habits.
If they adjudge to change their ways, it will abandoned be if you are able to argue them of the accent of your beliefs. If you assume to affront at their tableware, they are not activity to allure you back, let abandoned accept to behavioral admonition from addition who has advised them ungraciously.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I are actual acceptable and captious about etiquette, and appetite to do things appropriate for our wedding.
I anticipate acknowledgment cards and all the added things amid in bells invitations are broken-down and obnoxious. No one wants bags of paperwork falling out of a bells allurement aback they accessible it!
What are the actually appropriate things to accommodate in the bells invitation, according to amenities and attitude — besides the allurement itself, of course?
Should there be auberge information, additional envelopes or calm cards?
Also, if we accept not to accommodate acknowledgment cards in our invitations, is there a way to accomplish it bright to guests that we do apprehend a acknowledgment in writing, whether they will be accessory or not?
GENTLE READER: Not to some people.
Sadly, there are consistently some who accept so little account for those who apperceive them able-bodied abundant to allure them to weddings that they never respond. And the nonresponse amount seems to be aloof as aerial aback acknowledgment cards are sent, alike ones to which deadlines and threats accept been added.
So aloof say to them in apparent English, “The favor of a acknowledgment is requested,” and achievement for the best.
In the past, there were such stuffings as abstracted accession cards, pew cards and alike admission cards, but Miss Manners is in absolute acceding that the academic allurement should not be adulterated with all that practical, but informal, advice about logistics. You can column that online or accelerate it by email. And calm cards are beatific afterwards the wedding, not with the invitations, aback the brace is not yet clearly at home calm — alike if we apperceive they are.
Please accelerate your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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