Do you apperceive what today is? Oct. 29, 2019 AD. An accustomed Tuesday to some. National Frankenstein Day to others. But best important to us and the appreciative citizens of Buffalo, N.Y., who still accept to bethink to accelerate him a agenda every year, it’s Andy Dalton’s 32nd birthday. Why do we apperceive back The Red Rifle was aboriginal accursed into this branch of existence? Why do we care? Well, because today is the day, afterwards years of pain, suffering, turnovers and turmoil, that the Cincinnati Bengals assuredly benched him. If this isn’t the best Cincinnati Bengals affair to anytime Cincinnati Bengal—even worse than the fan who slipped in puke, destroyed his shoulder, and sued his team—then we don’t what is.
It’s not that Andy Dalton didn’t accept it coming, either. That’s not absolutely the issue. He did. The Bengals are as bad as the Dolphins and somehow alert as irrelevant. The affair is with the timing. They didn’t bank Dalton aftermost year or aftermost week. Nor did they delay until tomorrow. They did it today. D-Day, of all the cold, heartless, adulterated canicule to do it.
For 16 playoff winless years, Mike Brown alone cloistral Marvin Lewis from the acrid realities of the alfresco apple afore he was finally, beneath immense accessible pressure, affected to move. And back they did, the Bengals let Lewis bottomward softly, agreement his arch to the pillow like a ailing babe. Dalton, meanwhile, got a cossack up his ass and his face shoved in his altogether block like it was a toilet. Zac Taylor, the Bengals’ adored aerial academy drillmaster who has absent the aboriginal eight amateur of his NFL head-coaching career in absolute fashion, has a slogan. “It’s About Us,” he says . . . unless, of course, it’s your birthday, in which case, eat sh*t and die.
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Oh, and if you’re apprehensive what Dalton’s numbers attending like this year because you accept mercifully abhorred watching alike a distinct breeze of Bengals football, he’s tossed nine touchdowns and eight picks while commutual 60.4 percent of his passes at a blow of 6.7 yards per completion. That’s an bloodless carbon band to be sure, but its not a dumpster blaze like those that Mayfield, Keenum and Darnold accept posted.
Then again, argumentation has never been the Bengals’ able suit. Argumentation suggests you advertise off your injury-prone aptitude back you’re 0-8 and in complete clean mode. Argumentation suggests you don’t can a loyal agent on his 32nd birthday. But nope, not in Cincinnati, area the affair in the breach allowance at 3 p.m. has aloof been canceled and the alone affair on the agenda is the alpha of the Ryan Finley era.
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