“The worst marriage is better then the best divorce.”
I heard this saying once, and while I do not think this holds true for many couples, I do think it’s true for our grandchildren who suffer through many negative effects (listed below).
After reading these negatives, grammas, let’s discuss how we grammas can help our grandchildren cope with divorce.
1. Before turning 18, 48% of our grandchildren from divorced homes smoke.
2. Divorce alters our grandchildren’s mental health, as 6.6% of divorced parents take Ritalin while only 3.3% of grandchildren in “intact” families do.
3. They are susceptible to illness, higher risk of stroke and early death because of stress, accidents and violence.
4. They have poor math and social skills because of low self-esteem and stress.
5. Our darling grandchildren are more prone to crime and twice as likely to get divorced.
HOW WE GRAMMAS CAN HELP OUR GRANDCHILDREN COPE WITH DIVORCE
1. Be a guide to the divorced couple. Make them aware of the negative effects their divorce will have on their children. Bring informative books and other valuable information to them. They are so involved with their own feelings that I imagine many of them are not aware of the negative statistics placed on their children’s backs.
2. Never speak badly of either parent to your grandchildren. Come from love and compassion. Bite your tongue if you have to. Use your valuable input. Your loving ear will get your grandchildren through a lot.
3. Be the listener. You can provide the only peaceful place for your grandkids. Respect and value all of their feelings.
4. Celebrate birthdays and holidays in your happy home. Their home life is in turmoil. They need to feel your force of positive bonding, love and security.
5. Be the non-judgmental gramma. Their parents are stressed. You should become the non-judgmental gramma and confident they will turn to you for advice and love.
6. Do not sabotage their parents’ authority. Children love their parents even when they are angry. Respecting the parents’ authority will be a plus for your grandchildren. They will trust you even more, which they badly need.
7. Tell your grandchildren about the unpleasant problems you have faced. Tell them how your felt and how you overcame them. This is a reality they can relate to ~ their gramma’s problems. AND LET THEM KNOW YOU WILL SHOW THEM AND TEACH THEM WAYS TO TAKE A TERRIBLE NEGATIVE AND TURN IT INTO A VALUABLE POSITIVE.
8. Buy them age appropriate books of how other children their age learned to cope with divorce. They will not feel so alone.
9. Last but not least share your spiritual side with your grandchildren, so they can find a quiet place inside themselves to feel peace of mind. It can be religion, nature, music, etc.
I hope this blog helps you help your grandchildren.
Do Something GOOD Today: Help your children and their spouses keep their date night. It’s important, and you can spend extra time with your grandkids!